as previously noted, i am not a fan of small talk.

so why i cracked, i can not explain.

just the two of us standing in the break room watching and waiting for the coffee machine to fill the pot. i broke the silence with the worst of all break room small talk.

pathetic me - "gotta have my morning dose of coff-"

my new hero - "have a good day."

before i could finish my sentence he had cut me of and ended the conversation before it had begun. four simple, abrupt yet effective words had served multiple purposes. he shut me up, left no opening for new small talk, and did so using pleasant words making it impossible for me to be angry with him.

for the next 93 seconds we stood in complete silence watching the pot fill. i was consumed by his genius. his simple action had clearly established himself as the dominant. when the pot was full, it was understood he had first dibs. he filled his cup and left the room silently as if i did not exist.

moving forward, i have decided to use his technique in all potential small talk situations. you have been warned.

back in the day, apple used icons that looked like the machine you owned to represent your hard drive. aside from the happy mac on startup, this was one of the most endearing things connecting me to my machine. visually, it made sense and no explanation was ever needed. it gave individuality and personality to the machine.

so, at some point (at least two or so years ago?) apple decided to use a very generic internal hard drive icon (as seen above) to represent your hard drive. it is the same on all macs.

my mother has never seen an internal hard drive. additionally, it is generically named "Macintosh HD". HD for hard drive i suppose, but I wonder what my mother thinks it stands for. it is now a meaningless icon.

i know it is a small thing, but from a company that prides itself on branding, design, usability and individuality, i am dumbfounded and disappointed.

has anyone seen other musings on this topic? i am sure apple had some sort of reason, i would be interested in hearing it.

open letter, part one
8 am monday

to the lazy fuck, fuck you.

thank you for up righting my coffee mug you knocked over. i'm sure the last drop that you somehow managed to keep in the mug was the one of 3,498 drops that would have no doubt created an unbearable stench.

and i appreciate that you're a thinking person, never rushing blindly into action. leaving the spilt coffee over night wisely gaurunteed you would not risk scalding yourself if the day old coffee happened to be hot.

I'm glad you feel comfortable here. make yourself at home, feel free to shit in my waste basket or urinate on my phone. the walls are great place to archive you boger collection.

mi shit hole casa, su shit hole casa.

don't think i don't know who you are, i am certain you are the same person who did this, at least back then you left a note.

sincerly mystified by your stupidity,
griff

open letter, part 2
8 am, tuesday

to the one day older and slightly less lazy fuck. thanks for cleaning up.

i would have cleaned it myself, but i was curious to see if you would grow a pair and take responsibility for your actions. to my surprise, you did, and i commend you for that. it is soldiers like you that will make this a fortune 50,000 company one day.

sincerely stunned,
griff

one can only wonder what rock and roll would be today if this cement mixer had been roaming the streets of london on that fatefull night, september 17, 1970. if only jimi would have heeded the advice of the giant, slowly turning mixer.

there are not many days i miss living in detroit, but today is one of them.

as i was tucking son one into bed, i noticed a stray milk dud on the carpet. i was too tired to stomp my feet and yell like i have a thousand times before, so i tried a different approach.

"you know, food on the floor will attract a cockroach. the roach will live under your bed and feed on your crumbs. he will grow larger and larger till the crumbs no longer satisfy him. on that night, the giant cockroach will reach up over the edge of your bed, pull you under and eat you. good night."

i interpreted his giggling as a sign he understood i was only kidding, but also understood that i was not pleased about the stray milk dud.

that was several sleepless nights ago. what the hell was i thinking?

worst. dad. ever.

I have been working in detroit for the last 4 weeks. this site has been sorely neglected. so have my children. today, i am back home. my son asked if we could build a work robot that looks like me so i could stay home.

listen closely to the sound of my heart breaking.