this is why everyone should keep a sketch book. i was looking for some notes in an old sketch book and found this.

i don't remember ever sketching my glasses. it's quite possible it was drawn while intoxicated, and also quite possibly done with my left hand. perhaps even blind folded.

or maybe you did it in my book when i wasn't looking. please do some more, i quite enjoyed it.

i have never been good with the concept of money and how it all works. that is why i have wife.

i don't shop or really ever buy anything, stores frighten and confuse me. that is why i have wife.

wife keeps my life moving forward. without her i would lay in the fetal position on the closet floor.

recently i was in dire need clean underwear but i don't really understand how the machine that magically produces clean underwear works. again, that is why i have wife.

an impending business trip magnified the underwear situation, i was forced to work the machine or go shopping. on my way to the airport i stopped at tj maxx. the fact i stopped at tj maxx is an indication of how truly desperate i was. not that i believe i am above shopping at such a discount store, but, well, i am. anyway, i purchased fresh, clean, deeply discounted irregular underwear, and continued on to the airport.

wife monitors the checking account via the miracle of the web hourly. she noticed a transaction at tj maxx. odd she thought, knowing my disdain for both shopping and outlet stores. adding to the confusion, the transaction posted after i had left town. compounding the confusion, she had coincidentally shopped the same store two days earlier.

wife concluded that tj maxx was screwing us by running up bogus charges on the checking card used two days earlier. she called tj maxx and requested the manager (tj himself, i suppose). she then tore tj a new one. tj was very apologetic and promised to review by hand all the register tapes for the day to find the error (not a simple task).

in our evening update phone call, wife tells me this crazy story about tj maxx trying to screw us, and how she chewed out the manager and how nobody messes with her. her voice is filled with anger, bravado and confidence. I ask her the amount and realize it was my purchase. sheepishly, i told her about my shopping excursion. a panic stricken wife ended the conversation abruptly, "um, i gotta go. i need to call tj."

today we pay tribute to the very munch under rated lower case g. always a favorite of mine, it is easily the most creative and fiercely independent letter of them all. as any typographer can tell you, little g is the soul of a font, little g is the dna of a font, little g is alpha and omega of a font.

you say you can't tell the difference between helvetica and helvetica neue? check out little g, he will show you a world of difference.

you say you can't decide which font to use? let little g show you the way.

give it up for little g.

science fact 1

whales poop.

the ocean is filled with whale poop, and i will never swim again.

i just finished the book everyone poops by taro gomi. according to this text, snakes and camels also poop.

science fact 2

the vocal cords of a cat are unaffected by helium.

my recent experiments show that when cats ingest helium, they pretty much sound the same and don't meow in that elf like voice.

science fact 3

cd's and marshmallows are the most entertaining objects you can place in a microwave oven.

i could blame the light posting lately on my job and weekly commute to atlanta, but i realized that is not the real reason.

the real reason is britney spears.

the constant and relentless barrage of britney propaganda provided by the media has whipped my ass. i am exhausted. a topic worthy of 14 seconds has consumed hours, days, weeks, and years of hype that has stolen my will to live. i would shoot myself, but i am too weary to lift the pistol.

at least my name isn't justin.

ultranote - a simple google search on britney spears revealed 5,900,000 returns, a search on tony blair revealed only 3,010,000. maybe tony should try the slut make over thing.

once again my comedic genius went completely un-noticed and in fact resulted in a long and awkward silence in which i died a thousand deaths (a form of death i am very familiar with).

the beer store cashier incorrectly over rang my purchase. I told her the product was on sale, $2 less than keyed into the register. unable to correct the error unassisted, she shouted across the store to the manager, "pam,... i have an overy"

i giggled slightly and quickly responded, "i have a testicle, we should get together."

the humor of my little joke completely depended on the cashier realizing what she had said, which she didn't. my little joke did not stand so well on it's own and most assuredly was considered a lame pick up line or sexual harassment.

manager pam slowly meandered over, consumed an eternity to fix the "overy" and complete the transaction. all in complete silence.

feeling like an ass, i still giggled, once i was in my car.

the hot wings at wingnuts taste like cheese burgers, i wonder why.

as an internationally sactioned visual design official, i award wingnuts 5 points for ingenuity and designing on a dime, but must deduct 3 points for a typographical infraction (improper use of upper and lowercase letterforms within a single word) . wingnuts final score is 2.

ultranote - this reminds me of a hotel in dallas that was once a hilton hotel. the new owners simply removed the "n" from the roadside sign and replaced it with a "p". it is now the hiltop (yes, with only one "l").

a losing lottery ticket lay at the bottom of my trash can.

each night the cleaning crew empties all waste baskets.

each morning the ticket is still there.

i believe the cleaning person is taunting me.