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my team will be disbanded in december. i should probably be much more concerned than i am. i have survived countless rounds of layoffs in the past.
i believe it's a survival of the fittest. got me thinking... what unique genetic traits do i possess, aiding me in survival of the cube farm?
my colossal height - most managers are short despicable people, my height easily allows me to see over the cube walls. sort of an early detection system. i'm a long gone daddy before they ever arrive.
my extremely large head - most managers are also simple folk and easily distracted. just the sight of my large cranium can completely derail conversations. an intended discussion of lay-offs turns into a discussion of planets, or balloons or other such large round objects.
my faulty short term memory - i am fairly certain i've been fired many times but by the next morning i have forgotten and i just keep showing up.
my abnormally small orifice - the dirtiest of all my orifices is abnormally small. teeny tiny. one could claim it is nearly ultramicroscopic. it is nearly impossible to pass anything thicker than a pencil. the analogy of an elephant through a key hole comes to mind. any way, this malformed orifice results in frequent and lengthy trips to the men's room. most managers will not fire you when you're makin' mud.
Posted by griff at November 23, 2004 03:07 PM