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i once celebrated halloween as the evil midnight bomber, what bombs at midnight. the response to my costume was much like the you are suffering from now.
worst. costume. ever.
anyway, that's not what this story is about, so let's not focus on that. the important thing to focus on in this story is how i accesorized the worst costume ever. i made bombs. the bombs were made to look like the bombs ACME provides to all cartoon evil doers from snidley whiplash, to wiley coyote.
the bombs had humble beginnings as styrofoam spheres. the spheres were painted black. a two inch long wire protruding from the top served as the whick. small bits of tinsel attached to the wire gave the appearance the bombs were lit, just waiting to explode. the bombs were the best of the worst costume ever. they looked exactly like a cartoon bombs should.
so, after a halloween evening filled with frivolity, libations and confusing looks, my buddy, dressed as scratch man (an equally lame costume) returned me home. before leaving him, i wedged one of my bombs between the dashboard and wind shield as a parting gift.
here is where the "tales from the office" comes in. scratch man is employed by the same silly corporation as i. this silly corporation employes equally silly security personnel. one day scratch man parked his vehicle in front of said silly corporation, much like he did everyday, but this day would be different.
that day, scratch man was working on the set of a live corporate broadcast when the director's voice came over his headphones requesting him to report to the control room immediately. an odd request during a live production.
security was waiting for him in the control room. corporate security's training, which obviously included watching hours of cartoons each day, had paid off. the potential danger of a styrofoam orb adorned with tinsel is immeasurable. quick action and severe measures had to be taken.
they told scratch man to have a seat. they told him the jig was up, they knew about the bomb in his car. the officers grilled him, probing him for answers but scratch man is one tough customer. it takes more than barney fife in a rent-a-cop outfit to make scratch man sing. scratch man never flips an accomplice. because of him, the evil midnight bomber, what bombs at midnight remains free to this day.
free to wear confusing costumes each halloween. costumes like senior stink, a cross dressing luche libre.
second. worst. costume. ever.
Posted by griff at November 03, 2004 02:32 PM