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so, did i tell you i have a new baby. oh, i did. well that is about all the news from the ultramicroscopic camp.
few events can generate small talk like having a baby. as previously noted, i hate small talk (clarification, watching others engage in painful awkward small talk is entertaining and i do enjoy that immensely).
there really isn't that much to talk about, babies are babies, but everyone feels they must talk baby with me. below is the transcript documenting my last 58 identical conversations.
person - hey, heard you have a new baby?
me - yup.
person - boy or girl.
me - boy.
person - great, what is his name?
me - casey.
person - how much does he weigh, and how long is he?
me - 9lb, 2oz, 20.5 inches.
person - wow.
then we stare at each other for a good long while. person has collected all the meta data available and there is nothing more to discuss. a baby has yet to develop any personality or physical traits to talk about at length.
in a weird way, i kind of wish son three was born with a prehensile tail or something to generate more conversation.
person - hey, heard you have a new baby.
me - i guess you could call it that.
person - boy or girl.
me - actually a hermaphrodite with a prehensile tail, gills and deep interest in the history of dirigible aircraft.
person - where do you get diapers to accommodate the tail?
me - freaks-r-us baby store next to the wall-mart.
person - are the gills functioning or simply aesthetic?
me - fully functioning, rated for depths up to 6 fathoms.
person - wow, tell me more!
and the conversation could carry it's self for hours.
Posted by griff at September 22, 2004 11:41 AM