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i am perfectly capable of strapping on the ass hat un-aided at any given moment.
that being said, i recently discovered the consumption of beer can cause the ass hat to majestically grow in size and radiate a neon glow. time can also factor into exaggeration of the ass hat. beyond 1 am the ass hat grows a bull horn. it ensures not just those in the immediate vicinity witness my embarrassing behavior, but so do the people way over there.
hangin' at a local honky tonk with my posse, tossin' back lone stars at the bar was plenty fun enough. why i felt it necessary to push the fun needle into the red is still a mystery to me.
i don't sing in public because i suck at singing. a realization i am quite proud of making since watching people completely unaware they suck on american idol. when the juke box rocked slobberbone's placemat blues, i forgot that i don't sing in public. then i forgot that i don't sing in public again for the next 3 consecutive slobberbone songs the juke spit out. there i was, foot stompin', rockin' like dokken and wearing the ass hat in all it's splendor.
now, often times one will don the ass hat and never even know it's perched upon their head. i could have been one of the ignorant if it wasn't for the bartender. it took her a moment to gain my full attention. she informed me that brent best (the lead singer for slobberbone) was seated at a table just behind me enjoying my little show. i thought she was kidding, but sure 'nuff, i turn to see she was not.
since i was there and you were not, i will just say the story ends much like the movie rock star and i have replaced brent in the band. look for me touring a city near you.
ultranote - upon writing and rethinking the events of sober mind, why would the juke spit out 4 consecutive songs by the same band?!? either they played 'em to honor brent's presence OR i was so entertaining, they just wanted to see how long i would go.
Posted by griff at January 22, 2004 01:21 AM