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this is the latest in a long line of things that have hung from the wife's rear view mirror. it is an artificial animal skin pouch containing some sort of pea sized objects. i call it the cheetah scrotum. i hate the scrotum more than any previous hangers, even more than the thingy that smelled like monkey urine and vanilla extract.
as if two boys, a cell phone, a dvd player and the constant blare of radio disney are not distraction enough, the cheetah scrotum swings wildly with every turn, brake or acceleration.
"well you see officer, it's like this. i was reaching to turn up the boys favorite song, YMCA, on radio disney to drown out their fighting when my eye caught a glimpse of the swinging cheetah scrotum. i was immediately hypnotized when the sudden ring of my cell phone violently jerked me from my hypnotic state causing me to accidentally eject the scooby-doo dvd with such force it ricochet off the back window and struck me in the back of the head. that's when i crashed into the fruit cart sending various fragile melons air born."