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finally the winner of the ultramicroscopic tournament challenge can be announced. lawyers here at ultramicroscopic have just concluded a two week investigation and seem to be satisfied with the urine tests, background checks, psychological profile and underwear inspection.
it's my pa!
i know, you are probably saying to yourself it was rigged, but when you see the prize, you probably will not care. the prize is pictured above. an authentic hand crafted basketball hat/mask.
enjoy it, my father.
how come i feel this stupid thing will once again be in my possession around the time of my birthday?
addendum - i made this mask a couple years ago, but am unable to wear it for extended periods of time because my huuuuuuuuuge cranium is actually larger than a standard basketball. not something i am proud of. i must go now, my neck grows weary of supporting this planetoid resembling a head.