 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
||||||
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
||
 |
 |
 |
|
|||
 |
|
|||||
i look forward to meeting you at the sxsw conference. please do say hello to me. here are a few distinctive characteristics that may help you recognize me. some day these may also be helpful to the coroner tasked with identifying my corpse.
1. bionic nostril
2. my height is hard to tell but i am roughly the size of 10 men
3. glass leg filled with jelly beans. yes you may, if you ask politely
4.unfortunate hair
5. the mark of the beast, old gooseberry sort of botched this one up, it looks like triple nines but when i stand on my head it is quite apparent that they really are sixes
6. unwieldy pubic hair
7. a 5th nipple
8. a scar from having the extra eye removed from my hand
9. a scar from the cattle prod
10. a birthmark oddly resembling nipsey russell
11. extended butt crack that rises all the way up to vertebrate L1
12. tiny pig like eyes that see all
ps, this is why i love the internet, i can be anything i want to be and no one knows better.