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part one
the wife handles all the finances her at the ultramicroscopic corporate offices. that means she rifles through my wallet multiple times a day, looking for receipts, and withdrawl slips to feed the insatiable quicken monster.
i always keep a several month old lottery ticket in the wallet. being the clean fanatic she is, this drives her absolutely crazy. "why don't you check the lottery results so you can finally throw that away!? what if you won, and you don't even know it?!?" she asks.
i kind of like the idea that i may be obscenely rich and don't know it. if i actually check the results, i will most likely find out i am a loser. i don't like to find out i am a loser.
part two
each week the 7-11 prints last weeks winning numbers on the exact same ticket paper that the live tickets use. there is usually a small stack on the counter the day after the numbers are drawn. at a glance it is nearly impossible to tell the difference between the results and a live ticket.
once a year or so, i pick up a results ticket and put it in my wallet for her to find. her frustration that i have a what appears to be a 3 month old lottery ticket in my wallet gets the best of her. she pulls it out and checks the results on the web. momentarily she believes we have won the lottery.
this prank usually results in a large bruise on my upper arm that lasts as long as a lottery ticket in my wallet, but man, is it worth it!