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four situations i have observed you being an asshole.
1. you just poured the last drop of coffee into your 42oz bladder busting insulated mug, would it kill you to spend the 28 seconds starting a new pot? if you brew decaffeinated in the caffeinated pot again, i swear to god i will kill you.
2. that was the third time you have asked the airline attendant for an extra trial size pack of peanuts. jump off your wallet, pay the 2 dollars for an entire bottle before you get on the plane next time.
3. you stood up as soon as the seat belt restriction was released. it will be a good 12 minutes before the gate is connected and the doors open. your genitalia is slapping me in the face and your ass smells like, well...ass. standing or not, we will all get off the plane at the same time, so sit down.
4. friday night at blockbuster you grabbed a movie off the new release shelf just because it was there, then two steps later, you returned it to the shelf because you found a better one, then you returned that one for another. stop the madness, i suggest porky's 3, you'll love it, or come back on monday night, they will have all 300 copies of stealing harvard.
don't go thinking your opposable thumb sets you apart from the weasle.
Posted by griff at February 25, 2003 03:03 PM