 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
||||||
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
||
 |
 |
 |
|
|||
 |
|
|||||
a few days before christmas my boys asked me what kind of gift i wanted. before they could finish asking the question, and with out thinking i said "underwear and socks". as soon as i said it, i realized i have become my dad. i always thought my dad just gave that answer because it was an easy one. i now realize he (and now i) honestly want new socks and new underwear.
so any way, i have also found out asking for something specific is a guarantee that you will not get it. kids buy fathers 2 kinds of gifts. the first are gifts that the kids really want for themselves, like a new hot wheels track or legos. the second kind of gift is one that doesn't need to be wrapped because even after unwrapping it you still don't know what it is. this past christmas, my gift was one of those (pictured above).
the "octopus" is designed to massage your head, it took me a great deal of time to discover that. i put the octopus on the closet shelf next to some other dusty old dad gifts. recently my son saw it and asked me if it worked. i had assumed not, but said "yes" and i decided to give him a demonstration.
this thing is incredible. it really works! my scalp shivers and tingles as the tentacles do their work. i find strange noises of pleasure coming from myself as move the octopus about my head. i often have to slow down or stop after only a few minutes, the sensations are too intense. after 10 minutes or so i melt into a puddle and can take no more. the refractory period lasts about 20 minutes, then i will sometimes let the octopus dance an encore.
after watching one of my sessions with the octopus, i asked my wife if she wanted to try it. she said no, she claimed she didn't want any of my scalp cooties. she also said the man with the octopus cart in the mall gave her a demonstration before the boys bought it. i told her it was odd she feared her husband's scalp cooties, but didn't mind the cooties of a thousand flea infested mall rats on which the octopus man had previously demonstrated.
she ran to the shower and is still washing her hair now.