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on occasion i tune in the hip hop happening station here. i think it is important to monitor the youth of today and listen for signs of the coming revolution. it is also important if i some how find myself on a dance floor and i need to "get my freak on".
the other day, the dj was broadcasting remotely from a new gas/convenience store. it is hard for me to understand the language of youth, but from what i could decipher, he was seducing the youthful listeners with offers of low prices and opportunities for them to give "shout outs" over the air.
he claimed "they got dr.pepper out da BUTT!". this is not something i would say to generate customers, and i have several concerns about this claim.
1. da butt is normally reserved for solid waste. this man he describes may have some pipes crossed.
2. i am curious how dr. pepper is being distributed via da butt. is the man defecating 12oz. cans or is there a fountain tap attached? for his sake i hope it is not 2 liter bottles.
3. the youth has an unhealthy fixation on da butt. are low rider jeans, ass tattoos and j-lo not enough?
4. i have no desire to drink dr. pepper from some one's ass. if this is a selling point, today's youth is much more misguided than television shows like the 5th wheel, and extreme dating had led me to believe.
5. once one has procured dr. pepper from da butt, who's responsibility is it to wipe?
6. i prefer mr. pibb over dr. pepper. which orifice should i hold my cup under?