 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
||||||
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
||
 |
 |
 |
|
|||
 |
|
|||||
everyone is aware of the 12 days of christmas, but did you know as a middle aged, married guy with kids there are also the 12 phases of christmas day.
1. denial - 4 am, i am awakened by a . i stare at the ceiling in the dark hoping not to hear another noise. i refuse to believe christmas starts at 4 am.
2. false excitement - 4:38 am, son one flies through the bedroom door, nearly knocking it from the hinges. he announces that and every one must get out of bed NOW. I pretend to be excited, as best i can at 4:38 am.
3. real excitement - 4:56 am, false excitement quickly turns to real excitement as kids are literally shaking with excitement and is ingested.
4. manic excitement - 5:15 am, things are in full swing now, an orgy of paper shredding interrupted every few minutes by some one screaming "YES!, a sponge bob just what i wanted!
5. is that all there is - 5:50 am, knee deep in a sea of wrapping paper the kids become oddly silent as they realize there are no more gifts to open. i let the kids unwrap a gift that some how was forgotten last year. unwrapping satisfies and eliminates the recently acquired addiction to tearing paper.
6. self doubt - 6:30, the wife examines the poor wrapping job i have subjected upon my gift to her. as she begins to unwrap the gift, my mind races with thoughts of .
7. reflective - 6:40 am, surveying all the gifts and wondering how does one return a bought from one of those gypsy carts in the middle of the mall corridor that has already packed up and skipped town?
8. construction - 7:30 am, the longest phase of the day. some assembly required will result in some gratuitous cussing. i search the house top to bottom looking for a .
9. exhaustion - 5:12 pm, the mind is mush. a little loopy at this point, i catch my self humming and enjoying it.
10. mundane - 6:15 pm, realization that christmas is a day like any other. it is not a holiday from the mundane activities cluttering my everyday life, i still need to .
11. persuasive - 8:15 pm, tuck the kids into bed and try to convince them the toys will still be there in the morning, and that it is not a good idea to sleep with their new .
12. vegative - 9:00 pm, kids finally asleep. open another beer, turn on the tv and slip into the fantasy that i am and everything will turn out ok this christmas.
Posted by griff at December 26, 2002 01:00 PM