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when boarding the down elevator and some one asks "going down?", why do you laugh, that's not funny
when you see a co-worker in the bathroom and they say "fancy meeting you here!", why do you laugh, that's not funny
when the guy in the team meeting eyes your granola breakfast bar and says "did you bring enough for the whole class?", why do you laugh, that's not funny.
i am finished with laughter for the sake of being polite. laughs are precious and rare, i refuse to waste them on office humor and the people who spew it. taking it a step further, i will be using evil humor to ensure complete silence and squelch any chance for mundane office humor. it is my mission.
when boarding an elevator i will announce to it's passengers "i hope we don't plummet to our deaths in this tin box, i hate all of you and would rather not spend my dying moments with you assholes."
when recognizing a co-worker in the bathroom i will say "damn it, urinal 3 is mine, every one knows that, never use urinal three, what is wrong with you, if i ever catch you deflowering urinal 3 again, i swear to god, i will beat you like a red headed pinata! asshole."
when walking into the team meeting with my granola bar i will announce "hey smell my poop finger, i must have forgotten to wash after my morning crap session, it was a doozy. um, you want some granola, asshole?"
Posted by griff at December 18, 2002 10:12 AM