 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
||||||
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
||
 |
 |
 |
|
|||
 |
|
|||||
saturday i realized i am inadequate and unable to satisfy my wife. my tool box is pathetic. in a very unorganized manor it contains a few random nails, 2 metric wrenches that are never the right size, a bicycle spoke wrench, and a very old hammer with a loose head.
my wife has a honeydo list a mile long. i am lucky if i can satisfy a single request on the list. it always takes me too long, and it is always a little anti-climatic when i finish.
i am often forced to ask the neighbor (henceforth referred to as fabio) for assistance.
fabio's tools are top of the line and he takes good care of them. each having an outlined spot reserved on a peg board wall in the garage. my wife goes on and on about how fabio's wife can't even keep up with him. he is always suggesting projects around the house. fabio, fabio, fabio, it's always about fabio. the man is destroying my marriage.
in an attempt to rectify my inadequate tool box, i went to home depot. it only made it worse. the testosterone drunk clerks and customers gather there to brag about their home projects. erecting tree forts, laying soaker hose in the wife's garden, or staining her jewelry box. when the clerk asks me about my project, i explain that i'm trying to hang a picture, but am unable to find a stud suitable for mounting it.
making it worse is my wife's unhealthy obsession with HGTV. how can i compete with those men. they swing big hammers and after 30 minutes they always leave the women satisfied.
Posted by griff at October 21, 2002 02:41 PM