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today I was ambushed by friends that claim to care about me. i think the technique is called an intervention.
i have not paid for a haircut in years. i shave my head, then grow it till i need a comb. then i shave it again. this has been a bimonthly cycle for 15 or so years. my so called friends seem to think i have a problem. they claim i should stop. they claim my head is ugly and i should grow the hair out to hide it. they claim it is for my own good.
i say, what does it matter i'm not hurting anyone but myself. they claim my grotesquely large, misshaped, freak show head is barely this side of christopher merrick. small children are horrified by the sight of it, and soon michael jackson will want to purchase my skull.
i ask, why was i not told earlier? but suddenly i am flooded with memories of my wife, my kids, my parents, friends making comments in passing. things like "big headed freak", "hey melon boy", and "tater head". if only i had listened.
they say the first step to recovery is recognizing you have a problem.
my name is griff and my head resembles a cratered planetoid. i am sorry to all of those that i have caused pain and suffering.
Posted by griff at September 17, 2002 01:06 AM