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back in the day, i was a good dancer. "the day" was back in 1985 and it was literally a day. i think it was september 23rd. i could skank to fisbone and pogo to devo. i even created a hybrid of the two dances specifically for ant music. that was long ago.
now the only dances i do are impromptu goofy dances of my own invention (the bone dance, the old man shuffle, the paraplegic bird, etc.) to entertain the boys. sometimes the dances actually include music. music usually sung by the muppets.
the wife an i recently went on a getaway weekend with a few other couples and no kids. we ended up at a dance club. not aware that my dancing skills have greatly diminished, it seemed like a good idea at the time. it had been a while since i had been to a dance club.
there is a new dance craze sweeping the clubs. for those of you that have not seen "when girls go wild" i will attempt to describe it to you.
the female places her hands on her knees, extends her backside and gyrates it to the beat. this type of stance and motion can potentially lead to pregnancy and/or a dislocated ass. many women avoid the dislocated ass by having counter weights of silicon installed for balance.
the male (or sometimes a pseudo bi-curious female trying to attract male attention) stands directly behind the fore mentioned gyrating pooper. he puts his left hand on the left cheek and his right hand in the air making a circular motion as if he is about to rope a calf, occasionally bringing it down to slap ass. he turns his head side to side with the motion of a boble head doll.
i might try this dance, but i am not very good at sex (except for twice).
i went to the dance floor confidently, but immediately had a hard time not breaking into a goofy dance developed for the boys. i had forgot how to dance. around me the distraction of silicon trying to bust free from it's confines and the simulated sex was too great. i returned to the table.
i sat at the table waiting for elmo to sing Be Doodle Dee Dum, that was when i would bust a move and show those youngins how to really shake it down. alas the opportunity never arrived.
Posted by griff at July 18, 2002 08:10 AM